Monday, December 19, 2005

Free Falling

The last two days have been difficult. I revisited a place inside I had sworn was locked forever. It was with a full percentage gurantee that i declared to the world, I would never go there again. An underground cavern with dark, murky waters and very little air. This time was more difficult, because I expected it to be well hidden. But an unfortunate step, and unknowingly I fell. What made it more difficult this time, was that unlike the others, noone pushed me there now. I just fell by myself, alone screaming into the mossy walls of that pit andwhen i touched ground, I was more scared than ever...The hours were long, stretched and the noises amplified. Every shadow seemed like a dangerous intruder. I thought I would stop breathing soon, if the heaviness continued that way..
But unlike the last time, this time I screamed for help. An unknown stranger offered a hand and I was out in no time. My clothes are still dirty, and the chill has not left my bones. Lesson learnt: You can't escape the endless pits. Every road has them. Even the one that looks bright and sturdy from a distance. It's like a power failure. You can never be too prepared.
I've been having nightmares lately. That should been a sign. The mind is not at ease. I'm still sitting near the pit, looking down, wondering why I'm so scared of it. I'm going to keep looking the whole night. When dawn will come, it won't seem bottomless anymore. And then I shall admire the water trickling down its walls and the tiny white flowers growing at the sides. It was the colour that scared me, not the pit.

1 comment:

Laura:) said...

I don't think it matters what race you are we tell every one we are okay because in reality nobody cares to hear the truth.