Thursday, January 05, 2006

Doing Okay

'How are you?'
'Doing okay'.
'How's the job going?'
'Just fine'
'And your health..?'
'Okay'
'Do you realise how often we Indians use the word 'okay'?'
'I know.'
'I wonder why?'
'It's just a way of saying, even though I'm not doing that great, my job is getting routined and my health is very bad, I will not complain. It's called Indian detachment.'
'Yeah, but I guess that's okay...'

It's this state of unacheivable balance where you want to believe you're doing fine. And if you keep saying this to yourself long enough, it actually happens. The ripples go away and it's stll waters again, running deep of course. But some kind of faith manifests itself in just not trying too hard, but pretending that yes, nothing's wrong. The Westerners would call it 'fooling your psyche'. For us, it's a magic placebo.

I went to church yesterday. Stood in a corner, and listened to a sermon, and though I don't agree with most of it, I did not question it. Acceptance comes with acceptance. Some words I remember though, from a hymn that talked about courage. Courage comes with waiting, courage comes with loving, courage comes with not hating the ones who hurt you, courage comes with wiping your own tears.
I say, Courage is a two-headed snake. It bites you in the ass when you say you have more of it than you can handle. But in spite of all going wrong, there's happiness in knowing you have that courage. And the ones who lack that courage can run away from the snake. Someday it will catch up with them.
The traffic is apalling, the cold getting worse, the love of your life a screw-up, the house all dirty, the laziness colossal, the month passing slowly..
Everything else is okay.

6 comments:

Wriju said...

I wrote this sometime back -

Those words you said,
Are long forgotten,
Even if they aren't,
I am not affected,
Even if I am,
The wounds have healed,
Even if they haven't,
Don't worry, I am fine.

Those words you hid,
I haven't heard,
Even if I have,
They haven't hurt,
Even if I'm hurt,
I do not bleed,
Even if I do,
Don't worry, I am fine.

Tell me no more of enchanted days said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Loonie said...

amazing!
I like the way you have put it across.
courage..
if only I had the courage to love..
if only i had the courage to accept..
if only i had the courage to give..
if only i had the courage to be me.
well..as u said..courage comes with acceptance. perhaps..
i will keep that in mind..
and i cannot deny..amazing post!:-)

Oreen said...

this is very moving indeed . . .

Oreen said...

but there shouldn't be the courage to fight . . .
i will refuse the courage to fight, even the slightest urge to fight . . . for no reason at all.

fight for a cause, yes . . .

Ashmi said...

nice post...yeh!hope you remember me...was a bit dissapointed when you couldn't take my compliments in the right spirit but that's fine taking into consideration that i just couldn't stop coming back to your blog...yeh! i know the term "ok"...means more than it should actually convey.