The Adopted Ones
For those who believe talking to inanimate things is retarded and juvenile, please don't read any further...
I got Woozie almost an year back. He's white, fluffy and cannot stand. He can fall on his ass with a goofy smile on his face. I sleep with him every night, holding him close to my bosom. Yesterday my friend commented, "Like most men in your life, this one's also getting more than he deserves."
Woozie is not a man, he's a stuffed dog. Only I don't like using that word for him. He's the only member of my family, actually living in my house, and gets introduced to everyone who comes to my house. Some give him a handshake, others go 'Weee' and hug him, some just smirk at me, and decide I'm a psychopath or a female reincarnation of Mr Bean.
But who cares? I love Woozie. There's this song by Cat Stevens, "I love my dog more than I love you. You may stray, but my dog will always be true..."
On Saturday, me and D found a girlfriend for Woozie, a pink teddy who we christened 'Punch'. Though we wondered, Woozie's a dog and Punch a teddy, so how the hell are they going to copulate? But then they look so good together, he's taller and heavier than her, just like a man should be to a woman.
To make Punch feel more at home, I decided to sleep with her instead of Woozie. My hand still reached out to hold Woozie's. But I kept tossing and turning all night. She was softer and more beautiful, but she didn't feel like home. Maybe that's what happens to mothers, they always love their first-born more. I realised Punch was like any new person in my life. It's going to take some time before she becomes family.
I want to make her feel loved, but she has such a sad look on her face that she almost reminds me of myself. So maybe instead of me, she needs Woozie more. I'm going to give him a bath so that he can woo her properly. After all, just like a man, even a stuffed dog needs to prove he's worth the attention of a pink lady, who has soft hands, big melancholic eyes and an intense smile.
I'm suspecting, he'll need more than the bath to win this one. And so will I...