Monday, July 10, 2006

Slam Dunkin' Chipmunkin'

I'm fed up. I know I love animals, always have. Since childhood, I've reared dogs, cats, sparrows, toads, lizards. But this is too much. Three days back, I had an uninvited guest coming to my house. It still hasn't left. I'm calling it FIFA, just because I think it came at an appropriate time. Also because there's so much of the game in it.
I first thought it was a rat. I can't stand rats, I find them ugly and diseased. But it wasn't a rat. It was a squirrel, a tiny ball of fur with a bushy tail. I stay on the top floor of my building, much above the trees. It had to choose to climb all the way up, using the pipes, and enter my bathroom through the gap between two glass panes. Why me?
At first I thought it was cute. Till it decided not to leave. And not get scared of me anymore. I've left all the windows open for three days, left it alone, hoping it'll need its privacy to leave. But I think it doesn't want to any more. Maybe there are more it's inviting in. 'Come, come it's nice and cosy in here, with lotsa chocolate and beer...'
Indians believe a squirrel coming to your house is good luck. My dad suggested I sleep in the living room, and let my guest sleep in the bedroom. I almost decided I could make it a pet, till I checked up on squirrels on Google. Squirrels are rodents, and carry rabies and fleas like rats. They chew up on shoes, wires, paper, anything they can get their tiny claws on. I'm afraid that Fifa will build a drey (a squirrel nest) in my house and there will be 20 little Fifas jumping about in my house, making rattling noises in the night, waking me up at six every morning by standing next to my bed, and leave squirrel poop all over.
Honestly, I can't handle it anyone. I asked my friend, 'Where can I get a gun?'. 'You can't kill the poor fellow. Shame on you.' I'm not planning to kill the 'poor fellow', I suspect it's a girl squirrel with bad hormones and squirrel PMS.
But I don't want to continue playing 'Catch the Chipmunk' every day. How does one drive a crazy squirrel out of one's house? Maybe I need a man to scare it away. Maybe I need more courage to let both enter my house, without fear...Maybe someone decided I needed a roomate to battle my loneliness. But that someone sent the wrong person...


Madhuri Shinde said...

Come on yaar. Give a break to ur squirrology. It's just a tiny little creature who wants to seek the company of a beautiful woman. I am sure it has to be don't worry about the female hormones...hahaha:)

How do we know said...

wy dont u deal with the millions of daughters of the squirrel when they actually happen? Remember, one squirrel cant produce children!