Dazed Anatomy

Hello, I'm back, and well and good. And you sirs and ladies? Okay, actually, not that good, but I wanted to keep that for later. In fact, I wanted to write this entry next week with a snap as well, but a friend of mine kept pestering me to write. So AT, I hope now you at least comment on my blog since I'm crouching and curling like a snake on Morphine to write this, making sure my dad's laptop doesn't hurt my stitches. This is the story of my operation:
Here goes, I got admitted on the 15th, i.e. Tuesday at 9 am. This gave me a reality check to prepare myself for days without food and water that were to come ahead. Dad filled in the papers and they checked me into my room. Man, did I get a shock or what! Now, I've never been admitted before, but as far as I remembered, hospitals were scary places with strong smells of iodine. This was swanky, with personal TV and all. I had to share my room with a noisy ladywho kept Alpha Marathi, Zee Marathi and ETv Marathi on at full blast all the time and whose husband snored like a generator.

Anyways, they finally got my blood sugar test done. Then they took out a lot of blood for different types of tests. So far I was fine, and actually enjoying myself. Then they said their MRI was not working and we would have to travel to another hospital to get it done. So off we went in an ambulance with red beeper on top and all. I actually felt I was in Satya or ER or one of those funny things. The damn thing took 4 hours and I made it a point to fight with everyone for the delay, accusing them of not letting a poor patient prepare for her operation (whippeee, what a treat to do that even when you're sick). If you've ever been through an MRI, you should know what I mean when I say it's totally trippy and scary. It sounds like a sub nuclear missile, a rave party and an opera in hell all combined. Sense of humor still intact. So far so good.

Night 10 pm onwards, no food no water allowed. Test begins. "Nurse, thora pani, nurse thora."
"Nho, nudhin dhoing. Nhow u take injection. One small prick. Just one small prick."
How come all nurses are Mallu and believe that small errr..u know whats are harmless? She also gave me laxatives and needless to say instead of getting a good night's sleep, I was on potty the whole time.
Next morning, day of the operation. Incidentally, everyone decided to call me up and talk for hours on the day when my mouth was dry and I was ready to sell my I pod for water. 11 AM - Take her to the OT. Like Bachchan in a film I was rolled into a strange room with green people. My mom is already shedding tears thinking her daughter is going to be cut open and her organs donated or something.

Conversation in OT:
Me: So, when you guys give me the anesthetic, do let me know. I want to see how it feels.
Nurse: Sure sure.
Me: What are you injecting in my arm right now?
Nurse: That's just fluid.
Me: How long does it take for the anesthetic to kick off? Do let me know, okay?
Nurse: Sure I will. Usually takes 2-3...

I opened my eyes and it was all over. I was shivering and in the recovery room. They had to kick me out of there because I wasn't drowsy. Besides, I kept chattering non stop and I didn't sleep till 11 in the night. I had stitches on my stomach and abdomen covered with plaster, a urine bag attached to me and I was bleeding internally for the next 3 days.
The nightmare wasn't over. More injections, pills shoved in places where the sun don't shine and people coming and looking at your body as if it were a mummy on display. Needless to say, I survived. Special thanks to How do we know for sending me those lovely roses. God bless you my dear.
Now I'm recovering at home and being pampered and spoilt.
I'm still in pain, but at least I'm cyst free :)