Hustlerism and Freeloadin'

What a fun weekend this has been. On Friday night, at 11.30 after finishing work, me and Baby Spice decided to go have a drink.

"Teach me how to hit on guys," she said. I agreed. Unfortunately for us, Pop Tate's had none of them. So at 12 in the night, we made an impulsive decision. To try our luck at Bling, the disc at Leela's. I have to add, I was wearing a torn skirt with a sailor's top and love handles popping out and hair tied in a bun. She looked like the frat girl that she is, with grease all over her sleeves, received from keeping her arm on an oiled gate.

When we reached there, our jaws dropped. There was a long queue outside Bling, with a bevy of beauties, as if they had just been dropped from a chopper coming straight from LA. High heeled shoes, sexy hot pants and perfumed bodies. The guys looked good too. Me and Baby Spice stand in a corner, looking ashamed of our middle class bearings. We were too embarassed to ask the cover charge for entering. So she called her friend who told her it was a four digit figure.

"It ain't happening. I have only 30 bucks in my purse," she said.

I sulked and said I wanted to smoke. Just as I was, two sad looking men came up to us.

"Are you girls alone?"

"Why?"

"Because we've come all the way from Pune but they don't let stags in. We were just wondering if you could accompany us so that we could get in."

Baby Spice's mouth was half open, and I was afraid her enthusiasm would show.

"Actually, we were just leaving. But we could try helping you. We'll only get you guys in and then leave," I said with a very business like look.

So in we went. Loser guys decided to buy us drinks since they have drink coupons and didnot drink. (Me thinking: what idiots come to a disc alone and don't drink?)

We take our drinks and then tell them bye and move away. They certainly didn't expect this!

After that it's just me and Baby Spice, dancing and acting like two girls getting naughty. The cute Aussie guy probably looked at us and thought we were too poor to get decent clothes.

After what seemed like a lot of time, I decided to take her to the bar (That's where the fun guys always are. Watch and learn, okay?). Tough luck again. Loser guys are back and want to buy us drinks again. So we do. They are the worst chipkuus ever.

"We are so lonely. We have no partners to dance with. Would you please dance with us?"

"Why can't you dance with each other?"

"That looks so bad no. Girls dancing together looks okay. What's the problem?"

I look at Baby Spice. She doesn't know what I'm going to say.

"Actually, we are seeing each other," I say. Her eyes look like they saw a flash of blinding light in bed. I keep fondling her hair.

Loser guys go all soft on us. "That's all cool. We understand. But that shouldn't stop you from dancing no?"

I look at her and touch her hair as I bend, and whisper, "Fight with me."

I snap at her, "I want to smoke." She still doesn't understand. So I get more angry, "You have a problem with me smoking now, do you?" She gets the hint, "Yes, you're always doing that. I'm sick of it."

I scream, "Stop controlling me. Stop telling me what to do."

I storm out, "F$%% you. I will smoke. You want to come, come or else stay with them."

The guys look scared. She follows. The minute we reach the smoking room we burst out laughing. Free entry, free drinks, the things we girls can get away with.

Saturday brings more free drinks and a free ride, as unknowingly we bump into an acquaintance of an acquaintance. Turns out he was a creep, but we are too high on life to care!

Sunday is girls day, as Baby Spice gets her first dose of p**n. She is too embarassed to even look at it, while we make fun of her. After she leaves, I go out for dinner with other friends. As it turns out the restaurant hadn't officially opened and we get free dinner on the house.

Nothing comes for free. On Monday, I find myself hating a once good friend. I also find out that a former lover was seeing someone else when he was still with me. Still, all's well. The good people are still around in my life. The bad ones are not. The once good, maybe not that bad are walking towards free things that are coming their way.

I say, "If it's free, take more than you can handle. Tomorrow, you'll be paying for someone else."