Tell Me No More of Enchanted Days

"Too much water, Tch Tch, too little fire," she shook her head and said. I tried to understand what she was saying, and remembered about the elements. "You need balance of all, you see. You got too much water, too wayward flowing, like river out of control. Too much tears, too much desire. Right no?" I nodded and agreed. The fire was lost by the earth and the water, The water was all engulfing and crazy. I always carried the rain with me, wherever I went. That was years ago. I paid heed to her words, and built a dam for the river, harnessed it well to grow my trees, and on the bank, I summoned a roaring fire. But one day, the fire burnt the trees, and the tamed and tied river couldn't save them then. The dam is still there, strong grey walls, the river hides, the seeds and embers floating at the bottom, waiting for a storm, that will drive them upwards, towards the open light.

For a minute, I thought I knew you, Seen you somewhere long ago, But you hide when you see me, as if I would clutch at your eyes, break open your thin air. So you run away, into the shadows where you've made your home. Like a sweet lost child, I call to you, 'I won't hurt you anymore, No one will hurt you anymore.' But you refuse to meet my stare, watching your pure, blazing face, so familiar like lines on a palm once. I know I look old to you, and the old don't know what innocence means. The burden of their lives run them down, like the shadows that we lose in the shade. I'm in the shade, and you just a shadow. Won't you come to me once again? Won't you love me once more? I wait for you in the garden, and you hide in the pool. As the sun goes down, and the stars pop up, the shadows are lost. You hide under the waves, and I watch and envy you, sitting at the shore, always too scared to get in.

Okay, so I need to get an operation done. And I don't have insurance. Or money in my bank. Big deal! And I might not be able to conceive in the future. I say, might because it all depends on the operation. Again, I say Big deal. I've been through way too much in life to let anything get me down. I know people dearest to me who are going through worse. See, that's the way it works. There's something called as karmic balance. If there are ups, there will be downs. And if there are too many downs, you only emerge out stronger. An elderly man I respect very much (Father T), once said to me when I asked him in a state of angsty youth, "Does it get any better?". He said, "Yes. And by the time you reach my age, you've seen it all. So, you're prepared for anything. But it does get better. Old age is the best time of one's life." And I think now, I agree with him. If I'm already stronger and prepared in the last 10 years; by the time I'm 6