Tell Me No More of Enchanted Days

I have crossed another milestone in my healing journey. Of finally stopping my people pleasing behaviour. It started when I finally understood the concept of boundaries, something that was lacking in me all this while. For the life of me, I didn't know where to stop. I would continue to shower the other person with attention and affection, hoping they would feel better about themselves. Maybe if I tried harder, they would realise their worth and in turn my worth.  The problem was I did not know my worth. My therapist had suggested last year that most survivors of sexual molestation and abuse do not understand the concept of boundaries. It takes a very long time for them to learn to stop their repetitive patterns. Blurring of boundaries also leads them to not understand the boundaries of other people. Hence the constant love bombing, anxious attachment, codependency and not picking up on subtle cues that the other person is uncomfortable.  My lesson now is that I will only invest wh

He took a deep breath and attempted to stand up. He stumbled on the wet rocks, but slowly reclaimed his balance. It had been ten months inside this cave. It no longer scared him anymore. His eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness and his body had learnt to survive on the light emitted by the crystals in the stalactites that hung from the roof of the cave.  The yellow-eyed demons that used to provoke him, calling him deprecating names and showering him with abuses had disappeared. In his time here, he had realised that they were not real. They looked real because he had allowed them to feed off on his negative thoughts.  Every time he lost his temper or believed that he has not deserving of happiness, they hovered around his head to take advantage of his weaknesses. He could see their red tongues sucking out the goodness from his soul. But time had taught him how to block them out. Their acerbic words meant nothing to him.  He remembered her words before she left. She had told him to

 I.  Between the sparkling trees,  And the wound down road,  There's a place we both know.  I will meet you there tonight,  Just like I did the night before.  II.  I dreamt we were naked,  In a pool drenched by sunset.  The sky was amber gold,  Water glistening on our lips.  You looked into my eyes And said, "Always be my night,  Giving up my sleep, Would be worth  All my days for you. " III.  I want to know  How your tongue feels,  On my tongue,  Inside my soul.  I want to feel  Your fingers on mine,  As you fill me up,  With caterpillar trains of  Of unspoken thoughts,  Squirming to break free.  IV.  At midnight,  You slide into my bed,  Like a ghost on a swing.  You move to and fro,  Breathing on my neck,  Invisible, but audible,  Like a warm light in the oven, Whispering in my ear,  'Say my name,  Say it once again, please. ' V.  You look gentle,  But you are a violent lover,  Greedy, desperate and possessive.  You ask to destroy What isn't even yours.  Yo

  - Rumi