Epistēmē

 

Why didn't you come home last night?

I told you, I slept at the dorm. Too much to study.

Who else was there?

Just M and A.

Okay, do you need coffee?

I'll make it myself. I need a joint first. You go back to sleep.

I tried going back to sleep, but once I wake up, I can rarely settle down again. I drifted in and out of dreams. When I opened my eyes, the room was still dark. The green curtains kept the light out.

Someone was standing near the bed. This time I didn't scream. I just held my breath. He was as tall as the bed with red flaming hair and a red beard. His eyes were menacing flame orange and he just stood there watching me.

Ron, Ron, come fast. Please come fast. Right now!

He opened the door, disheveled, spelling of fresh weed.

What is it?

It's the goblin again. He's here, next to my bed.

There is no goblin, how many times do I tell you?

The goblin pulled at Ron's shadow, only Ron couldn't see him.

He's going to take you away from me. Please, kill him. Please don't let him take you away from me!

You seem to be losing your mind these days. No one is going to take me away from you. There's some strange psychosis going on with you.

The goblin laughed and dragged Ron's shrieking shadow down the hall.

I composed myself and held him tight. I could smell his cologne, this smell that made me feel at home. But today, it smelt different. He really needed to take a bath. 

We sat down eating breakfast and drinking coffee. He rolled his second joint of the morning and offered it to me. I refused.

Can't you ever just relax and let go? Take a drag. 

I don't enjoy it Ron. I've never enjoyed it.

You're weird. Just a control freak.

I thought you liked that I was organized and always in charge.

I did. I don't any more. You just pretend to be a free spirit. You really aren't one at all.

Because I work my ass off 12 hours a day, while you read Foucault and I don't even have time to read anything anymore?

You're boring now. When was the last time you discussed anything with me? 

When was the last time you did anything for me?

Yes, demand gifts. Because that's what hard working capitalists like you strive for. Material comforts!

Gifts? When did I ever ask for gifts? I don't even have proper shoes to wear. All we ever buy is books. I don't want gifts. I just want you to sit with me, hold my hand and tell me you love me, like you used to.

Love? Bah, what is love? A privilege, a stupid non sequitur? Don't talk like a juvenile. Grow up.

The goblin was back and he was smiling. I kept looking at him. I wasn't scared anymore. He pulled Ron's hair and tugged at his arm. 

Ron continued,

 I don't believe in commitment anymore. I don't believe in anything anymore. There is no right or wrong. There is only our perception of it.

The goblin scratched his eyes and tore his face. I didn't stop him.

I had no idea you felt this way, Ron. 

But I lied. I guess I had known for a while.

The goblin took him away into the nearby tree outside our bedroom window and hung him upside down.

I let him. And then I cried.