I've stopped looking for you

(Picture courtesy: Woman looking in the mirror, Frederic Belaubre)

 I've stopped looking for you,

Shattered past, devil's stone

Of quivering lips and cold hands,

A smile so sweet and eyes so bold.

Let's pack you up, the stories untold.

Let's put fear and cowardice back 

Where they belong. You don't trust me,

I know. Nothing comes from nothing.

So let's pull down the blinds on that show.

I've stopped looking for you,

Frigid present,  saintly throne

Of choking words and abandoned poems,

Days so dull, choices unknown.

From black to blue to green.

You change colours mirroring my moods,

But never say why you are always alone.

So let's just admit we are all bitter.

Let's just admit we are bound by cords,

Pulling our insides together to keep us alive.

I've stopped looking for you,

Shiny future, light in white fog

Of water colours and dainty china,

Picket fences, I don't want them any more.

I used to dream of yellow flowers and

Green meadows, ocean waves and 

A cottage with a porch.

But let's cut the crap out, I'd rather

Not plan, not foresee, not succeed.

Let me run barefoot on the grass

And maybe just be caught unawares,

Go where tireless Time wants me to be.

I've stopped looking for you.

Maybe because, you stopped looking for me.