Deboarding

 

I've always had three repetitive dreams. One of missing a train, another of flying in the sky and the third one that started in childhood, that of tigers chasing me.

Yesterday I had a dream that diverged from a repetitive pattern. Instead of missing a train, I dreamt that I forgot to get off the train on time. I was searching for this man who promised me that we would get off together, so when the station came, I kept waiting for him and looking for him, and the train started to move.

I decided to get off without him and jumped off from the moving train. There I met a man with a grey beard and grey hair, who hugged me and said, "I've been waiting for you, you finally came."

We decided to go to his house where he said we would cook food. He took me through a forest path. I wasn't scared. I don't know right now in my life who he was, but my dream self seemed to trust him. We passed a lake with green leaves growing on it, like  hyacinths or lotus, I'm not sure which. I said, "I know this place. I've seen it in a dream."

We passed a half dead green snake that was as big as an anaconda. I looked at the snake and said, "I'm getting a sense of deja vu. As if I've dreamt this before".

We finally reached the slopes of a hill that signalled the end of the forest on the other side. "Run," he said. "Let's run. You have to run real fast, otherwise you will get out out of breath and tired and then you will lose your motivation. You must not lose your motivation."

We held hands and ran uphill, panting. And the dream ended.

So as usual, I woke up and tried to psychoanalyze it and only made some random guesses till I gave up. The only thing I felt was some hurt and a sense of relief.  It was my mind's way of dealing with all the pain I've been accumulating in my head, and telling me that everything will turn out right in the future. 

The grey bearded man was my guardian angel, coming to comfort me, at a time when I feel I've been treated unfairly. For every time you've been ignored, you've also been acknowledged and every time you are forgotten, you are also remembered. It's time for me to deboard. I can't hang around here anymore. I have other journeys to go on. And all is good, and all will be well.