In Bloom

 Ami took me to the trial room and undid her first button. There was a pink bruise on the side of her neck. 

"You got hurt?," I asked naively.

"No, silly. That's a love bite."

"What is a love bite? Did Sid bite you?"

"Yes, but it doesn't hurt. You are supposed to suck on the skin. Not bite it."

"But why does one do it?"

"It's pleasurable, that's why. You are such a baby."

"I am. I'm only 17. Not 21 like you."

"You've never even kissed a boy?"

"No. And I don't plan to."

"Come on. You are joining such a fancy college. I'm sure you will have a boyfriend."

"I don't like boys."

"Okay, girls then."

"Cheeee. What rubbish you talk!"

"Not rubbish. By the way, if my Baba sees this, I'm dead."

"Are they very strict, your parents?"

"They are typical Gujjus. Want me to get married soon."

"What about Sid?"

"They will never agree. He's not even a Hindu, forget Gujarati."

"Hmm. Should we go out?"

"Wait na. I think Keith likes you."

"Why do you say that?"

"The way he looks at you. Do you like him too?"

"He's too shy. He hardly even talks to me."

"But do you find him hot?"

I thought about it. He was smouldering, if not hot. Typical Goan Catholic skin, so beautifully brown. Sharp, piercing eyes. Soft, silky hair. And when he rolled up his shirt sleeves,one could see his dark wrists and the tiny hairs on his forearms.

I shook my head.

"No, no. I mean, he looks nice in an unconventional way. But that's about it."

Sid knocked on the door. 

"Girls, there are customers coming in. Get out of there. Ami, no personal chatter during work hours."

We went out giggling. Sid was a cool store manager and he gave us plenty of breaks. I passed one look at Keith and smiled.

In the evening, we had a Bollywood star drop in to visit the producer's office on the first floor.

"Mr Khan, Mr Khan, do buy some shirts," screamed Ami from inside. She was his big fan. The star, had muscles popping out of his white vest. He waved at her and said, 'Later'.

Ami was happy and hyper all through out the evening. When we packed up to go home and were rolling down the shutters, she whispered to me. "So are you going to dream of Keith?"

"I don't know," I said.

After standing on my feet all day and then in the bus for one hour, I was tired. I hardly ate dinner.

"Why do you need to work?", asked my mother. " Why can't you relax at home like a normal girl?"

"Not again Ma. You know I've always wanted to work."

I ate up quickly and lay my head down. But then I couldn't sleep. I started thinking of Keith. What if we were alone in the shop together? Or the trial room? Keith with his dark arms, his front button unbuttoned on his shirt. Hair on his chest. What was so erotic about hair on men's chests? We would kiss and I would run my fingers through his hair. I would push him on the floor. Bite his lower lip, his ears, his neck. And then... And then...

And then?

I had read enough Sidney Sheldons and Jackie Collins to know what happens next but my brain couldn't go past the kissing. It just all seemed so wrong, so dirty. I wanted romance but that too, as long as it was far away from reality. Maybe something was wrong with me.

I called my bestie on the landline and told her about it.

"Dude! You've never even fantasized or masturbated?"

"Nope. Not all the way at least. Is it allowed, I mean? Seems so wrong. Guess it isn't the right person or time."

"It isn't real. You don't need a right person or time for that. You can think of anyone and not feel guilty for that."

"Anyone in the world?"

"Anyone! It's your brain, your imagination, your own garden in bloom."

"Will keep that in mind."

The next day was my weekly off. I slept the whole day and read throughout the evening.

When I saw Keith at work, I touched his arm lightly and said,

"Good morning Keith! Hope you slept well last night?"

He smiled his shy smile with his small set of teeth showing. "Yes I did. Did you?"

"I did. Yes, I did."