Seven Steps to Healing

Now I'm writing this post because someone needs to hear all this. Maybe what I say will help someone even if I sound like a nutjob. That I don't mind at all. I'm anyways looked at that way. 

I'm going to write about healing your chakras. Most people, especially in the West talk about opening your chakras. But that's not what healing is about. It is about balancing your chakras. There are days some will be off, others will be hyperactive or one will dominate the other. The trick is to give each one of them equal importance. 

I have spent the last four years trying to sort my shit out. And it has taken a long time, but here I am, still on this journey. I don't share this side of me with anyone. I would rather they think of me as unstable, mad, depressive, whatever the fuck they want to believe. 

Now the chakra thing is very interesting. There are seven of them in pivotal energy centres in our body and they represent certain aspects of our emotions, power or traumas. 

One has to always start with the root chakra located at the base of the spine, pretty close to the tailbone. You cannot start any healing work if this chakra is out of whack. It represents our basic most primal issues - childhood trauma, rejection, anger, fear, denial, jealousy etc. If your root chakra is not balanced you will be unstable and constantly in a state of confusion. When I started out, I was always angry. I had pent up issues related to abandonment, self worth, playing the victim. I had no idea who I was anymore. The more I excersised, kicked dustbins and lifts, yelled and screamed, the more I realised something was wrong with me. I would laugh one minute and cry the next. It took a lot of meditation and spending time alone to figure out how to let everything out once and for all. The root chakra needs your utmost attention. You will have to go back in time, understand your patterns and unlearn them. I still lose my temper or feel utterly helpless, but then I step back and analyse why I behaved the way I did, what my triggers are and how they make me feel. I apologise if I do something wrong which I did not before because I was too busy playing the victim of my choices. 

The next one is the sacral chakra which lies in the pelvic region. It has to do with sexuality, body issues, desire, acceptance of the most basic needs of our physical body.  For me, this was the most difficult thing to balance. When it started coming into play, I was aroused all the time. I tossed and turned in bed at night, unable to sleep, watched porn and was consumed by only sex. This had to happen because I had suppressed my needs and desires for a very long time. I decided to take matters into my own hands and started giving myself what I always thought I did not deserve - pleasure. When I finally reached a point where it stopped hounding me, I calmed down. The trick lay in differentiating between when it was meant for my joy as compared to what was expected out of me. I have been celibate for almost two years now for reasons I cannot reveal. But the admitting that it's okay to feel horny without any shame or societal guilt has been part of my learning journey. Taking control of my desire has given me my power back and I have no intention of letting someone else decide that for me. 

The next chakra is the stomach or solar plexus chakra, the powerhouse of who we are and whether we respect ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves. When I started working on this one by drawing my boundaries, not putting up with bullshit and respecting myself enough, stomach issues that have plagued me for years started disappearing. Was I going to keep taking crap from people just to please them or was I going to stand up and tell them, you know what, I'm done now. If you are not willing to put in the effort I do, then I will withdraw my efforts too. I cannot be a giver with always receiving absolutely nothing in return. I respect myself now. And I need to respect you too. I lost many friends, offended many people and was labelled selfish and self centred. Well and good. It no longer affects me so much that I am not liked by people once so close to me. I need to like myself first. 

After that comes the heart chakra. This one was easy for me. I have never closed my heart, but I needed to protect it. I needed to stop offering love where there was no reciprocation or acknowledgement. I will give unconditionally but only because I choose to, not because it makes me feel good about myself. There was a year in between when I suffered from heart palpitations, chest pain and I thought something was wrong with me. There was nothing wrong. My heart was only learning to heal itself. The more time I spent in nature, with animals, walking barefoot on grass, hugging trees, hugging my children, making food for people without expecting them to feel grateful, the better I felt. My heart chakra is not very demanding, it needs very little to feel blessed. A kind word, a smile, someone reaching out to ask me how I am, that's all it needs. It believes that everyone is good. Correction. Mostly everyone. Some people are so devious and manipulative I wonder how they go around masking that from everyone. 

After that comes the throat chakra that stands for speaking your truth, communication, expressing yourself, not feeling like you will be judged for what you say. This is a tough one for introverts. I prefer to be alone but if I have to speak up, you better believe I will not be quiet till I do. The throat asks you to be honest, direct, own your truth, say it out loud, demand the recognition you think you deserve. I suffered badly here too because there were many things I kept to myself. I wanted to say them, but I was scared of being judged. And at other times, I was denied the opportunity to do so. I suffered from anxiety attacks that got me feeling breathless and as if I was going to die. My therapist explained to me why this was related to all that I was holding inside and how much it was suffocating me. So I decided to write everything out. That way I could say what I felt even if I was going to be judged for it. I started singing, something I always wanted to do but again judged myself for. Now, I will not hold anything back. I will say what I have to anyways. 

The third eye is in the middle of the forehead and stands for intuition, creativity and understanding things that are often hidden. During the lockdown, my third eye was ablaze. I had so many visions, so many unusual psychic experiences that when I look back, I wonder who opened it for me. It was a crazy time of astral projection, predictions and enhanced knowledge. I have learnt to balance this one otherwise it will drive me mad as I will not be able to differentiate between all the realities that exist and the one I'm living in right now. I learnt to shield myself from all the voices that were calling out to me, asking me for help, the unknown faces appearing out of nowhere that violated my space. I can still predict things, but only when I'm asked nicely. 

The last and the final chakra is the crown chakra at the top of our heads. It connects us to God or Divine Consciousness. It is very difficult to get in touch with this one. I had to practice all sorts of healing rituals to even access it. But there lies pure bliss, the nothingness that I dream of, the light that appears only when you do the hard work. Lately I have not been able to access it because somewhere I have stopped connecting with Divinity. I need to do that once again. It requires unending dedication and discipline, both of which are lacking in my life right now. But someday I will return to it. I do finally recognise that my life purpose is linked to my connection with the cosmic consciousness. 

There are other ways to work on your chakras. The internet is full of information related to colours, food, chanting, crystals and affirmations related to the same. I just wanted to share my journey here because people start off like me, at the very beginning without any knowledge of healing. I hope this helps someone on their journey. There is no ahead and behind on this road. Sometimes I am ahead, and sometimes I am behind. It is a continuous process that never ends. If you are reading this, you are already on the journey towards betterment. And there's no going back now.