What's your age again?

 

It is inevitable, one might as well accept that one's face will change slowly over the years. I have started developing crow's feet, eye bags, hooded eyes, laugh lines and all the gifts of being a 44 year old woman. There are dark spots because of spending too much time in the harsh sun. There are brown marks, some from hot oil splashing on the face. 

Red spots cover my body, white spots indicate places where melanin is reducing and dry skin possibly from lower estrogen now that peri-menopause is here. 

My hair luckily is not grey, except for two strands. My father did not have greys till he was 65-70. I guess I'm lucky to inherit his hair and my mother's tight skin. 

Ageism and everything related to it has been on my mind lately. It started with a meme of Madonna going around, being equated to a monster at the Grammy Awards. Now Madonna has gotten a lot of work done on her face, which has not worked out very well for her. 

People shamed her for not acting her age. Madonna being Madonna and the trailblazer that she is blasted them, sending out a mail where she slammed them for being agents of patriarchy. She said she never cared what anyone thought of her before, and neither would she now. 

I felt really bad about the whole thing. I've always looked up to Madonna. She is a badass in every sense of the term. But the truth is, she did not look nice. But that's precisely her point. Who is anyone to judge what one wants to look like as they grow old? 

The same day I happened to see my ex editors profile on FB. This was one gorgeous woman back in the day. She was divorced from one of the top journalists in the country, was a single mum and an editor herself. At our office party, young men flocked around her. She was always graceful and elegant. 

When I saw her profile now, I smiled to myself. She looked even more beautiful now. Cascading long white hair covered her shoulders. She was the epitome of grace even now. 

I have many friends who have gone down the salt and pepper route. Unfortunately, when a woman has grey hair, she is called 'buddhi', whereas the same for a man is considered sexy, almost like a Richard Gere kinda look. Yes, men with salt and pepper hair are sexy, but the reason is precisely the same as women - acceptance. Of yourself and who exactly you are in that moment in life. The same should apply to women as well. Why the double standards? And if a woman defies them when she is not supposed to, like Madonna, then the shamers descend there as well. Why is this old woman trying to look young when she is not? 

Either way, age and women don't go well, it seems. My mother will lose her temper at anyone who asks her of her age. How is it your business, she will say? Now, there's nothing wrong with that as well. Some accept age graciously, some don't. Both are fine. Everyone is entitled to choose their age, even if doesn't match their real one. 

Personally, I feel 27 though I'm 44. I've been told that I look like I'm 37. None of this makes any difference. I started wondering how I would age. Would I fight against it or slump down and admit I'm so old. I don't know yet. Finally our bodies don't do justice to our souls. Some of us were old souls even as kids, and some young at heart even when they are old. 

If I were to predict it, I think I'm going to be a badass with short white hair. I always had short hair as a child and with age I will learn to embrace that side of myself again. It's easier to maintain anyways and with some more ear piercings, I think I will rock that look as well. 

Age is really just a number. All one needs to know about is when to count, and when not to. 

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will, I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

-Young and Beautiful, Lana Del Ray