Leap of Faith

 

"Please don't quit. We can still be friends. Why would you leave your job now? You're doing so well."

"Because I can't bear to look another day at you and not have you. Besides, you don't get to tell me what to do."

"What are you going to do? "

"I've found another job. You won't have to worry about seeing my face anymore. "

"Where? "

"Goa... "

"What? Why would you find a job in Goa? Why not here? "

"Because it's easier to start afresh there. Nothing to remind me of you. "

"Wait. You don't want to see my face? Let me quit then. Let me go away. Maybe I'll find a job in Goa."

"No, no, no. You are the senior. You stay. I'll get out of your hair. "

"You're being very impulsive. You don't have to behave like this. Sacrifice your career for a man like me. Not even a good man, someone pitiable."

"You are a good man. That's why I fell for you. But maybe I'm not good enough for you. "

"Please stop acting like a 20-year-old! "

"Actually, I'm 25. So I'm pretty much acting my age. "

"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

"No. I have to book my train ticket. My new boss wants to come to pick me up. He has even offered his bungalow for me to stay in till I find a rented place. "

"Really? And you think he doesn't have any ulterior motives? "

"You don't trust anyone, do you? I went for my interview, he took me dancing to a really nice place. I even went to his house. He made me breakfast. "

"Are you nuts? Does this sound the least bit professional to you? He sounds like a creep. "

"You don't get to tell me about men and how ruthless they are. I already know. I had my whole life torn into pieces in front of me last year. And then I met you. Why did I have to meet you? Why did I have to fall in love with you? You feel nothing for me. I'm nothing to you. So why do you act so protective about me? "

"Look, I do care about you... "

"Enough. I've already heard enough. Leave me alone. "

II. 

"Goa? I'm not letting you go live in Goa alone! "

"Why, Papa? I have been offered a good job. The pay is peanuts, but how much does one need to survive in Goa really? "

"No. Goa is a dangerous place. "

"How so? "

"You will go there and try drugs. "

"Ha ha, Papa. You're so funny. How do you know I haven't already tried something? "

"Have you? "

"Only weed. Nothing else. And I don't even like it. No chemicals. I promise, Papa, I will never try any hardcore drugs. "

"You have a perfectly good job here. I still don't understand what happened. Why are you quitting? "

"I always wanted to live in Goa, you know that. And just my luck, I found a job there too. "

"I don't know. You have been through so much lately. You need to cushion yourself from making mistakes again. Give yourself time. Heal. Don't keep rushing through life. Slow down. "

"I'm at the peak of my youth. Why would I slow down? Even if I make mistakes now, it's okay. Let me do this. I can't keep living with you guys. I need to start focusing on my own life again. "

"Okay. If that's what you want. I have always supported you, and I always will. Even through your mistakes. "

"Thank you Papa. There's a lot of stuff to do and very little time. "

"Have you resigned? "

"Yes."

"Has it been accepted? "

"My boss has still not approved it and forwarded it to the HR. He's trying his best to convince me to stay. But he will accept it eventually. "

"Seems like a caring boss. Is he fond of you? "

"He is fond of me, just not fond enough. But it's not his decision to make. "

III. 

"The train is delayed again. Another half an hour now. "

"See, it's a sign. You are not supposed to leave us and go. "

"Mamma, come on now. You know it's too late to change my mind."

"Is it really? "

"My new boss keeps calling and checking up on me. He's already picked a place for lunch tomorrow. "

"That sounds a bit strange. You've not even joined there yet. "

"Is it? I hope I'm taking the right decision. "

"The right decision is whatever that feels right to you.  Think of life as a series of decisions we make. Every decision leads to a different life. So who knows, maybe this step takes you to a brand new life in Goa. "

"And what if there's a better life for me if I stay? Maybe, I stay back, meet someone, have kids. Or I become a famous writer. Maybe none of that, but I stay back, figure out who I am, heal, then one day after many years, I go to Goa and pick up where I left off. "

"The choices are endless, my child. We cannot foresee the future, we can only make our choices. And once we do, we find out where it led us too. Sometimes the paths converge and you actually end up where you were supposed to many years ago. But this time, you're ready, you're sure of it, you know this is what you want."

"So if I take a leap of faith, I will never really go wrong. In the end, we will reach where we are meant to? "

"Yes baby. Look the train's here. Give me a hug quickly. "

"Don't cry, please. Don't cry. "

"Come back soon okay? I will miss you so much. "

"I will miss you guys too. "

"Here, pull this suitcase inside. Keep this box under the seat. "

"Hmmm."

"Hello? Are you even here? The train leaves in 2 minutes. What's happening? You look zoned out."

"Let's get out. Fast! "

"What happened? I thought you wanted to go to Goa. Take the leap of faith? "

"I'm taking the leap of faith. I'm going to stay and see where life takes me. I will lead the life I'm meant to live. "

"Phew! That was close. The train's gone. So now there's no turning back. Now what? "

"Now I will call up my boss in Goa and tell him I'm not coming, that I'm sorry. "

"After that? "

"After that, I'm going to move out and find my own place. "

"Why, my darling? "

"Because I need to start walking towards the life that's waiting for me. "

"I'm proud of you. "

"Everything will turn out well. I will not regret taking this leap of faith. You know, Ma, in the train, I had a vision of my future if I did go. "

"What did you see? "

"I was miserable. And I didn't survive for long. I saw myself dead. "

"Then I'm so glad you didn't go. That you followed your gut. "

IV. 

"Hello. Are you in the train? I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you. "

"You can say it now. But I didn't go. "

"Oh! May I ask what made you change your mind? "

"Nothing to do with you. In fact, don't worry about it. You can continue working there. I'll find a new job."

"I'm not worried. I know you will be fine. "

I will be fine. And so will you. Hopefully, someday we can laugh about all of this. "

"We will. Take care of yourself. "

"You too. "

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