Sweet Sweet Fantasy

 "Okay, enough of the cribbing! What would your fantasy date really be like? "

"I don't know. I need to be pampered, wined and dined. So he would have to be in a suit. We would meet at a classy bar, talk, laugh. Then we would go to an expensive hotel. "

"So, no houses? "

"No houses. I like the idea of making love in a luxurious bed. Does it sound frivolous? "

"No. Not at all. It's a fantasy. Anything is allowed."

"I don't know, maybe there's something wrong with me. But I only like rich men. "

"Go on. I'm not judging."

"Yeah, I know you won't. But I guess there's not much else. He should dress well, smell really good, talk eloquently... "

'Hmmm. Even if he's a serial killer? "

"Ughh. You promised you wouldn't judge! "

"Sorry, sorry. What about the sex? "

"I want him to woo me, seduce me, then pleasure me. "

"Interesting."

"See. You think it's weird? "

"No, no. We all have these fixed ideas in our head that have never actually happened."

"What about you? What kind of man would it be and where? "

"Let me think. So, firstly tall. Then long hair, maybe a beard. Rugged and unpredictable. Like a photographer or a wildlife activist. We could be on a hike, or in a jeep. Just somewhere far away from people. In the middle of nature. "

"I never ever imagined that to be your type."

"I actually think that has always been my type. Secretly. I would never admit it though. But then he would also be sensitive and creative. Hard on the outside, soft on the inside. "

"What about the lovemaking part? "

"Outdoors. On soft grass, near a stream... "

"What would you like him to do? "

"I believe in equality and reciprocity. So both of us should be equally giving. I actually enjoy being the giver but here I would like to be pleased as well. "

"Nothing kinky? "

"Scratching, pulling hair, biting. But then none of that is really kinky. "

"Oooh... Well, at least we know what we would like. If nothing, one can always imagine, no? "

"This is an interesting discussion. Can I tell you why it is so important? "

"Because we can spell out what we want? "

"No. Because we can spell out what we lack. "

"What do you mean? "

"I mean, what we have described is exactly the qualities we lack in ourselves. If you are looking for financial status, somewhere you feel you don't have that. Also, you want someone to validate your physical attractiveness, to make you the centre of their world. Could it be that you feel insecure about these things? "

"Yes. Possibly. Geez. Way to ruin a fantasy! "

"Not ruining it. Just understanding it. "

"So your wild mountain man? "

"Is me trying to fulfill my lack of adventure and trying to break the monotony. When in reality, it is me who should probably ride a jeep or bike. I should be the one going for a long trek into the hills. I should be the one with nature. "

"And what stops us? "

"Life. And how we have programmed ourselves to be. Listen, the way we present ourselves to others is nothing but a carefully engineered design. We choose our templates. Unfortunately these templates don't allow for contradictions. That's where these fantasies emerge from. From the need to allow these contradictions that are an anomaly to these templates. "

"Give me an example. "

"Okay. There was this guy I once dated. Outside he was loud and crazy and wild and like the most exciting weird thing you could ever see. But alone at home, he was pretty boring. He would just sleep in, eat, watch TV. Like as boring as can be."

"So that was his mask, what he showed outside? "

"No, no. That was him. And this was him too. He actually allowed his contradictions into his template. Not many people can do that. "

"Listen. You've gone and done it again."

"Done what? "

"Ruined a perfectly fun conversation and turned it into philosophy. "

"I'm sorry. Really. I can't help it. This is who I am. I always look for something deeper. Superficial conversations are not my thing. But I'm sorry. I will try to be more fun here on. "

"Hey, you are fun. But you are boring too. "

"Can we accept both and allow them in our template? "

"Yes. I think we can do that. "

"So, this rich dude of yours. Is he a CEO? Does he like expensive wines? "

"I don't know. He could like beer too. Time to make up our own fantasies. "

"Sweet! "

"Like that Mariah Carey song. Sweet sweet fantasy. "

"Always liked that one. Makes me feel all steamy inside. "

"Like a momo? "

"Like a gooey chocolate momo... "

"Yuck."

"Yuck yes. By the way, I saw this guy on Instagram who is exactly like the long haired mountain man I described and he is a poet on top of that. "

"Oh wow! Hot? "

"Strangely, I found nothing about him hot. I feel there's still more to this template thing that we haven't understood ".

" I'm sure there is. "

"We'll figure it out. But not today. "

"Yes. Not today. Some other day. "

"Some other day... "

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